beyond the sea

Cool photography event coming into town!

2012-02-18T21:25:00.000+07:00

Liga Fotografi Fakultas Ekonomi Universitas Indonesia (LIFO FEUI) Presents:

Is it clear enough for everyone to see?
Extra information:
To compete in the photography competition simply sign up at www.kufoto.com and upload your photo with the theme "Capturing the Essence of Culture Through Movement" and tag them with the tag "3rdPortraits".
100 selected photos will be exhibited in Grand Indonesia Shopping Town 13-18 Feb 2012.
3 favorite photo winners will get camera as prize. Cool, right? So hurry! Deadline is February 5th, 2012.

For more information you can check out their twitter, @3rdPortraits
See you at the event! (It's going to rock, I promise!)

Wings of words

2012-02-02T20:17:00.002+07:00

I observed throughout my life that some people are unable to weigh their words. How easy to say such heavy words like "retard" "cacat" "autis". How words mean so little, so close to nothing. How they can say "My wording is not accurate" and act like they don't have responsibility at all.
I get offended by these instances. I weigh my words carefully, because my words shows who I am. I put a lot of consideration into what I say and write. Especially write. And yet, people despise words. They say everything lightly, without consideration at all.
I believe that words have the most fantastic power. Words inspire. Words destroy. Words are the gate to language, which leads to civilization. Why is there a Nobel prize for literature? Because words in the form of stories have such an enormous power: the power to reach out to humanity, to convey the worldly views of one to another. Words make all the difference.
I wish people would realize how great the power of words is. How the littlest things make all the differences in the world.
Then again, I wish more people would read more, would learn languages more. Learning languages opens up the mind to other cultures. Other ways of thinking, which I believe would lead to more understanding. But sometimes, people just learn the language, but did not gain anything more than the hard skill of reading-listening-writing-speaking.

2012

2012-01-08T12:52:00.002+07:00

Ini sudah seminggu setelah tahun baru, tapi tidak ada kata terlambat dalam membuat resolusi. Sebagian orang berpikir, buat apa mempublikasikan resolusi pribadi? Itu kan sesuatu yang personal. Tentunya tak ada salahnya bila ada yang ingin diam-diam saja dengan resolusinya. Tak ada salahnya juga tidak membuat resolusi, apapun alasannya. Namun, menurut saya, tidak ada yang salah dengan memberi tahu dunia apa yang ingin saya lakukan di tahun yang baru ini. Toh, tidak berbahaya. Tidak seperti memberi-tahu nomor kartu kredit atau alamat rumah di media sosial, mempublikasikan resolusi ke khalayak luas tidak akan merugikan saya. Bila tidak tertarik, lewatkan saja.
Menurut saya, resolusi saya dibuat publik agar orang-orang yang kebetulan peduli dapat mengingatkan saya agar tetap berada di jalur. Saya percaya, bahwa dengan memberitahu semua orang saya akan melakukan sesuatu, saya akan terpaksa melakukannya, karena kalau tidak, saya akan kelihatan brengsek! :D
Berikut adalah resolusi 2012 saya:

Menggunakan lebih sedikit tisu dan lebih banyak sapu tangan. Kurangi produk kayu untuk menyelamatkan hutan :-)
Selalu ingat untuk membawa sumpit sendiri bila pergi jalan-jalan. Sumpit sekali-pakai, selain merupakan penyia-nyiaan terhadap kayu, juga mengandung bahan kimia (untuk membuat warnanya pucat - bleach) yang tidak baik untuk kesehatan.
Membawa 3rd Portraits dan FEUI Cup 2012 kepada kejayaaan :-)
Bisa menyetir mobil sendiri, minimal ke kampus!
Mendapat nilai yang lebih baik lagi di semester berikutnya.
Kembali menjadi bagian dari keluarga penyelenggara Jazz Goes To Campus :-)
Belajar memasak lebih banyak variasi dari makanan lokal
Lebih banyak membeli produk lokal.
Lebih terbuka dan lebih berani mengemukakan perasaan secara umum. Lebih vokal tentang isu favorit: lingkungan.
Memiliki kesehatan yang stabil, dengan pola makan dan olah raga yang terkendali.
Lebih banyak menggunakan botol minum yang bisa diisi ulang dan bukannya botol plastik sekali pakai.
Memiliki personal style dan selalu tampil rapi dan konsisten. No more moody-wardrobe-problems :-)

Semoga saya bisa melakukannya dengan keringanan hati :-D

Haru

2012-01-08T12:34:00.003+07:00

Ketika melihat blog seorang teman lama yang sudah lama tak bersua, saya merasa terharu. Saya sering merasa terharu, ketika mengingat seorang teman. Saya kagum, betapa banyak yang telah ia berikan pada dunia di usia semuda ini. Saya kagum, betapa besar hati orang-orang. Betapa bijak, betapa menyejukkan. Betapa persahabatan itu tidak lekang oleh waktu, bila didasari keinginan yang tulus untuk saling memahami.
Teman-teman saya berarti sangat banyak bagi saya. Karena merekalah, saya ingin terus maju, ingin berbuat lebih, ingin memberikan sesuatu yang berarti bagi dunia. Sering sekali, saya melihat seorang teman, dan berpikir, "Betapa bersyukurnya saya dapat mengenal seseorang sehebat dia." Betapa bangganya. Betapa saya ingin, suatu hari, ia juga akan melihat saya dan berpikir hal yang sama.
Lebih dari seorang teman yang baik, seorang teman yang jujur dan tulus, teman yang menyenangkan dan memahami, saya ingin menjadi seorang teman yang memberi inspirasi dan semangat, seperti yang teman-teman saya lakukan.
Ketika saya dewasa (sudahkah?) atau lebih umumnya, ketika saya tua nanti, saya berharap tetap dapat berkumpul dengan teman-teman yang saya sayangi. Saya yakin, nanti, kami akan menjadi orang-orang yang hebat. Orang-orang yang memikul beban bangsa ini dengan sepenuh jiwa dan raga. Orang-orang yang akan mengisi lembaran sejarah dunia dengan karya-karyanya. Kepada seluruh teman-teman yang telah mewarnai lembaran hidup saya, sesungguhnya saya ucapkan terima kasih yang setulus-tulusnya. Terima kasih atas kenangan, inspirasi, bantuan, canda-tawa, dan kesediaannya untuk menerima saya apa adanya. Tanpa kalian, sungguh hampa perjalanan saya.
Surat terbuka ini bukanlah sebuah pernyataan selamat tinggal. Masih panjang perjalanan kita. Teruslah menjadi diri kalian sendiri yang menginspirasi saya. Saya pun akan terus berusaha, agar tak malu bersanding sebagai teman Anda. Kita akan hidup selamanya.

You know who you are :-)
looking forward to the future with you in the big picture.

2011-11-28T18:07:00.003+07:00

Took me a long time to figure things out. Why was I feeling so lonely, so empty, so detached. Over the time, I had grown to care less and less about things that matter to me. Things that make a difference. I think it started with a few foundings about what makes me happy. Over the time, I chose these things over others, which I thought matter less. It dawned on me later that the world does not work that way. I started neglecting TV shows I like for assignments. Then I start neglecting dentist appointments for school. Then I left quiet afternoons and holiday for school. I left a lot of things behind for school. I hate the fact that some lecturers really like to hold Saturday classes. Don't they want weekends for themselves? I hate the fact that I gave up everything I had planned for replacement classes.
It wasn't just that. I don't have time for my hobbies and interests anymore. I fell out of kpop. I hardly watch movies or meet friends outside school. All I do is going to lectures and work, work, work for various committees. I love being in committees, but sometimes, I feel like I have been giving too much and other people too little. Was I arrogant for saying that? Was my contribution more substantial than that of others? Was it happening inside my head?
The bad thing is that I get resentful. I get jealous, mad, and self-centered to others who I see as "happy".
The loneliness is another thing. College is a blessing, of course, I love it. But the difference in individual schedules can be depressing. When there's nothing to do and no one to talk to, I feel like fleeting away to a dark, cold place. Loneliness. And then there's the lack of human interaction. For the last year, I have been thinking that I'm a fairly social person. Meaning I'm not the life of the party, but I genuinely enjoy company. I'm a pretty good person, all in all. But I haven't got a best friend that sticks with me the whole time, the way I did in high school and junior high. I guess that's the essence of college friendship. You can be best friends, but you can also be apart almost 24/7. It's hard to find time to sit, eat, and talk to your best friends. Schedules, schedules, schedules.
Now I am highly aware of how unstructured this is. All my writings is rather unstructured, to be perfectly honest. I just jump from one subject to another because they pop in my head randomly. I can't really control them. It's not like anyone is grading them. These are my thoughts, they work this way.
Continuing. I also fell out of the kpop music fandom. I didn't fell out completely, just a little bit, but still, they used to be my source of excitement. I think I was really into it for the music. The pretty people are just a bonus. Now that many of my favorite artists are going to invade the Japanese music scene, new releases are rare. The new groups didn't interest me much. So I only followed a little. I'm not too interested in the little details - fancams, photobooks. I just really really love music videos and promo songs. Which is now a rarity. Which make me pretty much falling out of love. But I suspect there's going to be a comeback influx not so long from now, and by then, I'd be ready to fall in love all over again with the Korean pop music scene.

Enlightenment

2011-11-28T13:07:00.003+07:00

So I just finished reading Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami, and by the end of it I feel like a different person than the one who wake up this morning. It was truly an enlightenment? Did the end of the story, the closing of the book symbolizes the end of my misery? Hahaha :)
I feel really happy now. I feel that I can feel again. I want to laugh, really laugh, not the kind of silent laugh that gurgles in the depth of my chest. :D
I AM EVEN WRITING WITH EMOTICONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm not going to review the book, because it's so widely known, you can find it in most major bookstores if you want to buy it and google it if you want to know the reviews. Whether they have the Indonesian translation or not, I do not know. It's quite an old book.

A few days (or weeks) ago I also read One Day by David Nicholls. This was also quite....... inspirational. Not the kind of really painfully poetic prose I like to read (pretentiously), but it was relatable, funny, really funny, and did I mention relatable? I just feel so much understanding to the female protagonist. Not like in the relationship between her and the male lead, but more in the way of thinking. It feels good to know you're not alone, hahaha.

2011-11-12T11:51:00.001+07:00

Have you ever been so devoid of emotions but one? Despair. Like all you want to do all day long, every day, is to curl up and cry? All the things that used to make you happy, doesn't anymore. You can still laugh, barely, but you know it's just a temporary relief. Your laugh echoes and rumbles inside, like shoutings in a cave. Not just a cave. A bottomless cave, far from civilization, rough, dark, empty. You can hear the water streaming slowly.

You're never hungry but never full. You'd be with people and pretend you're happy for a second, for a minute, for an hour, for a day. You know you aren't. You don't want to bother anyone, but you hate it here, all alone in the dark, weeping. You stopped having dreams, sleep or awake.

You have no idea whether you have too much time, or no time at all.

Depression is a scary place.

My new favorite song

2011-10-29T21:03:00.001+07:00

No, I can't stop talking about this song. It's the definition of wonderful. It gives me feelings of an awkward giggles at the start of a prom dancing scene with your best friend whom you're in love with in a poignant movie (halfway between mainstream and indie, where could it be?) with muted colors. Not that I relate with the scenario, but I enjoy imagining things in detail.

Dance with me - CHEMISTRY

Moments like these make me wish J-pop is at the least as popular as K-pop. K-Pop itself isn't all that popular, but it's trying its best to be, and their CDs are actually accessible. J-pop has their own fanbase, but it's not as widespread as K-pop. The J-pop fandom is divided again in its variety of genre and names and everything. J-pop is satisfied enough not to expand to other countries, but I can't really blame them.

Dear You, From Me

2011-10-11T00:55:00.002+07:00

You're so busy right now. You've changed. You look better (you look absolutely great before, but now you look even better.) I miss you. Kind of a lot. You make me realize how far I've gone from where I came from. We should talk. Is the offer still there? Is it ever there?
You always make me laugh. Forgive me, for I am unworthy of your kindness. I am a mere shallow soul.
Part of it, part of the reality you never really wanted was that you never really knew whether you want it or not.
I wish it was true. I could learn. I would.
A part of me is always looking for you. Maybe I wanted to be just like you. Maybe.
Someday, I will call all of you and say
Books.
I wish I can tell you everything. I wish I never said anything.
Fears.
There's being in love and there's love and there's just feelings, uncategorized, free, confusing.
More than anything, more than anything I've ever told anyone before, I am afraid of many, many things.
Beauty.
I wish I have the courage to tell you how much I liked how you live. How much I admire your spirit. It shows, you know. I could tell.
I could tell.
There's a lot of fish in the sea is such an old saying. Have you heard of overfishing? Yeah. And I don't mean only literally.
I need to let myself loose. Let go.
I forgot how it felt to really really like something.
Good things come to those who snatch it at first glance. But I wait.
There's a void in your chest you can't really explain. It's not loneliness, it's not pain, it's not that dull ache you get when your heart breaks. Is it denial?
Proper grammar will get you far in life. I live by this quote.
I miss you.
I want to scream.
I want to sing and dance like I mean it just to forget everything.
Black out.
It's not cool. I don't think it will ever be. I'm not judging you, I'm just concerned about myself.
Call me selfish. But no one cares about me, so I should.
Curiosity killed the cat.
How far
are
you
going
to
take
me?
How
far
are
you
willing
to
go?
Writing cryptically does not help you through anything. It's just an artistic phase.

One check on my bucket list

2011-09-12T21:28:00.000+07:00

So I watched SHINee World Concert Singapore a few days ago. In the mosh pit. It was Awesome. This is an understatement but since I am still overwhelmed this will do, for now. It's also the first time I fly without adult guardian (although technically, I count as an adult now?). It was the most awesome three days I've ever had in my life.

To simplify things, pictures.

The concert ticket and wrist tag. Too bad my pearl aqua nails didn't show.

The in-flight movie selection of Garuda Indonesia, which includes Five Centimeters Per Second.

Morning walk at the Marina Bay, going to pick up a friend at the hotel.

The banner given by www.mrshinee.com :D

My position in the mosh pit was really close to the stage and I'm not even in the front row. I wish I had my camera there, it would be so great. I'd even seek references on concert photography when I know I would be attending the SWC but then two things happened: my camera lens broke and a ban on photography and videography in the concert arena was announced. So. There goes my chance. I got really brokenhearted about it when I got home, haha. My photographer self was drowning in self pity. But my sing-along loud self was very happy. I sing along whenever I knew the lyrics and cried of happiness at some point(s) and definitely was having the time of my life. The five boys of SHINee were all amazing, gorgeous, although very skinny and not very tall. They're about three to five centimeters taller than the average Asian boys (except Jonghyun, he's bringing down the average height). Why is this piece of information even important. I don't know. My favorite member, Jonghyun was definitely gorgeous. To be fair, all of them are very good looking but I am very inclined to say Jonghyun was gorgeous because you know, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder he he. He sings like there's no tomorrow and was a total cutie: poses in front of the cameras with security ironically glaring at the cameras. The stage was too big, it's rather hard to decide whether to focus on the group, on a particular member, or on the live feed video stream. I think I missed some moments because I was switching between looking at the live feed or at them. In the end the band lead the fans to sing Happy Birthday because one of them, Key (the only one who is fluent in English), is going to turn 20 in the next two weeks. It was a very sweet moment to watch.

The night before SWC I watched Glee 3D. It was also very awesome. I cried several times because Oh my God, Lea Michele is suuuuuuuper great. I mean the others were great too, but she blew my mind, her performance is so powerful and overwhelming and just beyond all expectations. I used to think she wasn't very pretty (not that she's ugly... just not conventionally pretty), but the passion and the talent makes up for it. She looked gorgeous. She was born to be a performer. Darren Criss (Blaine) was also very cute. Chris Colfer (Kurt) was absolutely adorable, but I think he lacks screen time :( Britanny and Santana were very funny. And oh, Mike Chang! Mike Chang didn't really sing (figures) but he appears a lot, doubling as background dancers sometimes. Everyone rocks. Like totally. The side stories were also very adorable and touching.

nineteen! rejoice!

2011-08-11T22:05:00.002+07:00

So I had my 19th birthday last month and it was a total blast :) I woke up to countless messages and was surprised two times at school :) It was one of my best days ever.

Unsaid

2011-08-11T21:55:00.002+07:00

I wish I would fit in better, but I like being different. The hard part is believing both are achievable. I'd love if everyone are a little bit more like me, a little bit more agreeing, but then again I'd be average, I don't like being average. I don't like being the blur in the background, the noise. I wish I would just make a good impression.
I hate you. I mean it. I'm not judgmental and I consider myself a nice person, but I've seen what you're made of, where you're going and how will you get there. I'm not impressed. In fact, I am disgusted. I can tolerate many things, but plain evil is not one of them.
I wish I am not so greedy. Can't I have what everyone has?
There are several things about me I would like to change. Sadly, the power to do so does not reside in my hands.

It all ends

2011-07-10T20:35:00.002+07:00

On July 15, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows part II would start showing in movie theatres all over the world. I'm still hoping it would, too, in here, in Indonesia. The euphoria was incredible...... It felt very personal, very emotional, the ending of this series. We all grew up with Harry, the ones who read the books and the ones who only watch the movies, nevertheless it's a generation's story.

I started reading Harry Potter earlier than my Indonesian fellows... I was nine, in my third grade. I think other kids had only started reading it when they were ten or eleven, in average. It wasn't that I am a better Harry Potter fan, it's just I've been there a little bit longer. I'm turning nineteen two days before the last film premieres. It means I've spent more or less ten years reading and re-reading and watching and re-watching the Harry Potter series.

Daniel Radcliffe was my first celebrity crush (that I am able to recall, I don't know if I've had celebrity crushes before him). I had posters of Harry Potter movies all over my bedroom since the third movie (when I am old enough to have enough allowance to buy magazines of my own) until the fifth movie. After then I don't feel like having any more posters in my wall because I don't have the heart to bring any of them down.

Why does Indonesian cinemas' crises came out in a time like this? I think I'm legitimately brokenhearted.

eighteen years and counting

2011-06-12T20:39:00.003+07:00

I'm turning 19 in a month and a day! I feel pretty pumped for no reason, hahaha. It's been quite a long journey.... I'm in paradise of a college, done things I've never dreamt of doing, met wonderful people, and other blessings, there's too much of them it's uncountable, alhamdulillah. I'd like to say thank you to people who have been there with me when I need them, people who inspire me, people who took me as who I am, and people who told me the truth so I can be a better person: people who make my life worth living. You know who you are.
I feel like I have changed a lot during this span of time, but at the same time I feel like I have remained the same. Such a paradox. It's a little bit lengthy to go on about my eighteen years of life, so I'd just review the eighteenth year.

My photo, printed and framed for a campus exhibition (nothing much, really, but it's sweet)
I watched Barrack Obama giving a speech live (he is really a charismatic man! I was totally blown away!)
I watched my favorite Korean boyband live for the first time (because I'm sure I will be seeing them again someday!)
I wear fake eyelashes for the first time (only a few days ago!)
I have my face (half-body actually) printed on a 2x3 square meter banner (lol)
I published my fiction writings (even if only to a few friends in an online journal)
I reunited with my Chapter Jakarta friends (finally!)
I cut my hair short :D

Overall, my eighteenth year of life is nothing short of amazing (although the rest isn't plain either!). Below are some of the things I want to achieve during my next year of existence:

Become more sociable and mature
Not forgetting to bring a pair of chopsticks, handkerchief, and mealbox. Also, use a reusable tumbler instead of disposable plastic bottles
Keep a steady, healthy weight
Exercise regularly
Reach 170cm (yes I am serious, and this is achievable! I'm about 166cm as of now)
Be able to drive around town by myself
Take better photos
Read more books
Dress better everyday

I admit some of these goals are pretty vague... Do you think specific goals will work better? Haha

Shopping lists

2011-06-08T22:42:00.002+07:00

A copy of The Necromancer
A National Geographic magazine (US or Indonesia alike) one-year subscription
A copy of The Supernaturalist
A copy of Artemis Fowl book 7 (I forgot the title)
A copy of Letters to Beatrice (and other Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events accompanying books)
A pair of Kloom clogs (I've been eyeing them for months!)
A pair of Up shoes (I'm always waiting for a new model, in case they are cuter)
A nice dress in black
A pair of heels for formal occasions
SHINee World Concert DVD (which is not even in store yet)
SM Town Concert DVD (idem)
One In A Million's photobook (bear with my K-pop obsession) (and by that I mean bear with my obsessive celebrity crush of a certain K-pop idol)
Tokyo Jihen CD (whichever!)
M-flo Cosmicolor CD
CHEMISTRY re:(four)m CD
presents for everyone's birthday
National Geographic: Love photo book

I probably won't be buying all of these... haha

Films I'd love to talk about

2011-06-03T15:54:00.003+07:00

Paprika

Princess Mononoke

Princess Mononoke is my personal favorite out of all Ghibli movies I've watched. I like the English dub better because of the actors' voices sounds more fitting to me. The English voice actors are also great names in Hollywood! My first introduction with this movie is through the book Princess Diaries, in which Mia mentions a Princess Mononoke every here and there, and by fate, I got a (pirated) DVD copy. I loved it so much I probably have watched it fifteen times, memorized most of the dialogue, and I'm not getting bored of it.

Bonus: NYTimes review of Princess Mononoke

short films and wonders

2011-06-03T15:45:00.004+07:00

I'm not particularly a fan of movies, be it blockbusters or art movies, but as you can see I am rather fond of animated movies (not just Japanese!). In the previous post I have named one of my favorite Japanese filmmaker, which is Makoto Shinkai. In this post I'd share with you his other works, particularly his short films. Both are in black and white, simple, but for me, it leaves a lasting impression.

She and Her Cat

Other Worlds

And another short film from another brilliant Japanese filmmaker, Satoshi Kon (RIP):

Ohayou (Good Morning)

In case you wondered, I am also a Ghibli fan. Obviously.

The Speed At Which Cherry Blossoms Fall

2011-06-03T15:20:00.003+07:00

I love love love love movie trailers. This Japanese short anime series, 5 Centimeter per Second, deserves a special post on its own because I was blown away by the trailer, every single time.

5 Centimeter per Second: A Chain of Short Stories About Their Distance is a series of three short movies by Makoto Shinkai, an acclaimed director. The story itself is about relationships and distance, delivered in a poetic but not necessarily sentimental style. The animation itself is extremely beautiful with crystal clear graphics and a rich array of colors.

Short trailer

Longer version

Bonus:
Ending theme video clip

I love making lists

2011-05-27T10:59:00.002+07:00

And this blog needs to be filled! So for the next few days or weeks, I"m going to post lists! :D (not in any particular order)

People who inspire me (real or otherwise)
My favorite music videos of all time
Why should you start listening to J-pop
Awesome short movies I love
Movies I'd like to watch in the future (or old movies I haven't seen yet)
Favorite lines from my favorite books
Things I'd like to buy, some of which I cannot afford (ha)
Things I plan to do on holiday
Awesome songs I'd never get bored of (that is mainstream somewhere else in the world but not here, thus making me a regional hipster)
Things I've always wanted to do and places I've always wanted to go

return to nowhere

2011-03-27T11:50:00.002+07:00

I have to stop before I got too far.
I overindulge. I got too attached to material things. I stop wanting things, or wanting to do things. I sleep too much, and work not enough. I think too much, and speak too less. I haven't been exercising. I cease to exist, in my own terms. I ate too much processed food. I spend too much on things I don't remember. I don't want to do anything. I blog too much. I have to stop.

I need to get up from this nightmare. I need to start wanting things again, be it a new pair of shoes or a piece of cheesecake or going to places with friends. I need to get my job done. I need to interact with people, real people, face-to-face and not via electronic devices. I need to stop thinking unnecessary thoughts. I need to start speaking, and feeling again. I need to fall to stand up again.

I need to finish all my unfinished business, be it academic, personal, or organizational. I need to shed my burdens, emotional and physical. I need to be healthy and accepting.

Then, I will take a break. I will go places, eat, laugh, have as much fun as possible. All this time I feel like a gadget, never fully charged. Always in a rush, charged while being operated, it drains me all too fast. I can't keep up with it, or I will break, and soon become another gadget in a pile of hazardous chemical waste. So slow down a little bit, take your time.

English

2011-03-25T23:07:00.002+07:00

I use English in certain moods because it feels more impersonal, not as familiar, nor vulgar as my mother tongue. It's practical and can be more deceiving to the eyes of most people without looking too obvious.

What I Talk About When I Talk About High School

2011-03-25T20:28:00.003+07:00

Sometimes when people talk about their high school experience with great joy and longing and compared it with their supposedly dimmer college experience, I got really worked up emotionally and start to whine (out loud or silently) about my somewhat lousy high school years. I was really bitter. I always justify my view of "college is way better than high school". Then, on a random lonely, silent night I got to question why did I of all people, get unhappy memories of high school? I mean, it's not that I was bullied, or anything, really.

When talking on the topic of 'high school', most people will reminisce fondly about their time with such fun friends on various occasions, while I got a reminder of failed dreams and the revelation of abnormality in my anatomy. There are also other factors contributing to my gloomy view of the most celebrated time of life. On the last days of my freshman days, I graduated from the music school in which I majored in piano after seven years. The daily routine of seven years of practicing piano every night (except in weekends) came to an abrupt halt. I also stopped taking English lessons and did not join any student organization. The lack of routine activity, turns out,
stresses me out.

But when I start looking beyond the two devastating memory occured some time in my high school period, I realized I had a normal, conventionally happy high school. I'd admit I wasn't as social as I would like to be, but I've always think of myself as a rather shy person. Also, I was undergoing a phase where I feel like I need to be somewhat different (but not necessarily in a hipster-y way) so I avoid normal stuff teenagers read, watch, and listen (not that it takes extra effort). But I went to photo hunting trips, I learnt how to develop a photograph from a film manually, I made friends with some of the best people I've ever known, I took lots and lots of photograph, I went to see festival and musical, and worked hard enough to get me where I am now.

In short, I don't have the right to whine about my high school years experience. I realized that all this time, I burdened myself, seeing the world from dark-tinted lenses. If my college experience is really much better than my already good high school, maybe, I really just am in the best place I could be.

You'd think

2011-03-07T21:27:00.002+07:00

Do you think it's stupid, do you think I think too highly of myself
Do you think I'm pretty, do you think it matters
Do you think I'm enough, do you think I can be?
Do you think I will get through this, do you think it's just a phase
Do you think I look real
Do you think I know it all along
Do you think I lie?
Do you think maybe

I am just like you.

Beyond the Hour

2011-03-06T17:52:00.003+07:00

With Earth Hour event coming close (March 26, 20.30-21.30 WIB), I feel like I need to blog about this campaign they call "Beyond the Hour" which basically encourages people to change their lifestyle beyond the one hour they put their lights off. It's a good idea, isn't it? I think turning off your lights at Earth Hour can be your first baby steps into a better, more sustainable lifestyle :)

This is a list of what I will do beyond the hour:

Bring my own mealbox, including spoon, fork, and chopsticks, in case I want to take away my food. This minimizes waste, and keeps me away from carcinogenic styrofoam :) also, bring my own tumbler to cafes/coffee shops
Use handkerchief instead of tissue
I will not buy a new gadget this year, and I will treat my gadgets better so they would have a longer life span, therefore minimizing e-waste :)
Bring a reusable water bottle to campus. I am so guilty of drinking off disposable plastic bottles :(
Be more informed (and share the information I got!) about the issues of climate change, wildlife trade, and the environment in general.

So, what are you going to do beyond the hour? Need some inspiration? Here are the things I have already done, but maybe you haven't:

Bring your own bags when shopping. Any kind of shopping. It doesn't have to be those "green reusable bags", it doesn't have to be new. You can reuse the plastic bags from previous trips to the grocery :)
Turn off unused electronic devices, not just at home. If you see a perfectly empty classroom with the lights on, turn it off :) and don't put electronics on stand by, put it completely off.
In cafes or Starbucks, if you are planning to sit there and have a chat with friends, no hurry, ask to have your drink in their ceramic mugs (hot) or glass (cold). Why drink with a paper/plastic container if you're going to sit in there? Better yet, if you regularly, or plan to go to such places, bring your own tumbler from home :)
Press the upwards triangle button on your AC remote control a few times. One degree increase can save electricity. Rather than wearing a jacket/sweater when you feel the AC is too cold, better just increase the temperature :)
Recycle old books. It's so easy!

girl stuff

2011-03-04T22:38:00.001+07:00

Current mood: SHOELUST.

I've been spending months staring and squirming with joy and spazzing over shoes. I'd tell myself to save some money and collect the guts to order them (they are available online) but I never did, not even until I wrote this very word.

I do realize this is quite a rare post........ I hardly post, but this is a post of girly things... Wow :D

These are the shoes I desperately want to get my hands on:

These are all from UP by Diana Rikasari (pictures are from UP website) and oh. my. god. aren't they sooooooo pretty. They're really affordable, too! I swear the minute their (offline) store opens, I will be there to raid their shelves because I'm too much of a coward to buy shoes online. Not to mention I still have to save money for SHINee's Japanese debut album, ehm. So. What is the point of this post?

I think I've been lurking on too much fashion blogs/sites. Well the term "too much" is relative, meaning, I only see a few blogs/websites, but I spent a loooooong time staring at them. I think I'm kind of in love. Not really, though.

Other than shoes, I'm really crazy about nail polishes right now. I think it's my color complex.

Late Night Wonders

2011-03-04T21:48:00.003+07:00

Microblogging, and by 'microblogging' I mean 'Twitter' is one of the reason I hardly blog nowadays. It's too engaging, too fun, too hard to ignore. I got really used to write hardly detailed, cryptic to the core, try-harder funny lines in less than 140 characters. Oh, and the fast response. The instant amusement. Look at this paragraph: I hardly use complicated reasoning sentences anymore. It sounds almost poetic, the brokenness of the sentences.

However fun microblogging is, and however effective it is to express sudden thoughts and rapidly changing moods, it cannot make up the satisfaction of writing long sentences in a long paragraph in a long text.

These are the things I can hardly talk about in microblogging, either because of the too general audience, or because it's simply too much fun not to talk about in long, awkward, boring sentences.

Regrets
Sometimes I have many, but sometimes, I have none. The way I see it, regret is a mindset. If you want to regret it, it is a regret. If you don't, life is easier without too much emotional bagggage. I regret few things, even when I am in the mood of regretting. I regret that I dodged the interview for several event committees. Right now, it hardly matter. I regret being impulsive, that one particular time, but then again, if I didn't, I don't know what I would be now. It seemed like the right thing to do, at that time. And buyer's regrets. A few days, even a few weeks, it haunts me. After a while, it became clear how insignificant problems like them were. So little time to wonder, so much to make it come true.

Friends
I don't consider myself very social, now, or back then in my school days. But I've always have a circle of people I believe, I appreciate, and I love with my whole heart. Right now, I think the circle have grown bigger.
Every day, I thank God for my friends, for the people made to share my day with. I will be forever amazed by these people's ability to accept me, their willingness to share, the way they inspire me with the littlest of things.
I believe that there are three things that makes a person: her (or his) parents, her teachers, and her friends.

Greed
Sometimes I wish I am more active, in organizations and in life and in everything. But I have limits, physical ones, although I am not particularly sick (Alhamdulillah), but still, I do not have the luxury of being as healthy as the average people. So I'm happy with what I have, and then again, greed isn't my thing.

This has been a mellow, contemplative night. I should've done my assignments, but there's always tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow.

What makes you different makes you human

2011-02-17T19:54:00.003+07:00

There are two broad categories of people I cannot stand. Both kinds likes to look down; on different things.

The first kind is discriminatory people. People who think their (religion, race, belief, lifestyle, ethnicity) is superior and is the absolute truth and forces it to other people. People who think it's okay to shun a certain minority because the majority does not like their (appearance, belief, culture). People who point their fingers and say words like "BUT it's WRONG and therefore A SIN and GOD WILL PUNISH YOU." I don't direct this towards people with religion, because atheists who shove their beliefs to other people's throats too, are discriminatory.

I do not believe, the slightest bit, in discrimination. In life, we will not always be the majority, the voice of the masses. That's when you realize, you wish people will treat you the way you wholeheartedly treat them. But back then, when you were one in the crowds, you didn't. You thought you were right. You had a lot of back up, back then in the crowds. But now that you weren't anymore, you wish you hadn't been the way you were, back then in the crowds.

I believe that every human being deserve love and respect and the chance to participate in society and to be able to be the best that they can. That we should see them as whole, separate individuals instead of a mass-produced, identical entities. That beauty and kindness is universal. That world peace is an option, and that it takes hard work and everyone's effort, not just a select few. That by appreciating others for who they are, we are appreciating ourselves as well.

This is about humans. Many do not care about trees and animals and insects and microbes and the air the water the soil, but this is about our species. About us. The very least you can do to contribute in society is by being a good human. A human that cares about other humans. It is hard to care about things you know not about: the wilderness, the rainforest and the sabana and the Arctic ice cap, but to care about people around us is not an option. It's in our nature, so take it one step further and be a better human. A human that is just and unjudging. A human that understands that people, like themselves, deserves to be happy and loved and feel secure.

Water

2011-01-07T09:33:00.004+07:00

So I was just taking a shower this morning when I noticed the coldness of the running water, the pristine transparency of this liquid substance dripping from the shower head, for the billionth time. Noticed is a feeble word, but it's accurate. Barely. To be more dramatic, I could use the expression 'ephiphany' - but really, such melodramatic word does not really reflect what I actually feel. Of course, we noticed water. But we were never really conscious while doing so. Water had grown, my bad, had always been substantially fundamental in our daily lives. We all know how important water is to humans, to life itself. But our almost constant exposure with water might have make us insensitive.
We have grown to take water for granted.
Sure, we pay for it. We pay for the company (whether it's private or government own does not matter) to take it from the source and deliver it to us. We make the sacrifice to acquire water. The question is, whether we have it efficiently.
Some people won't bother fixing a broken faucet, or even worse, turning off an unused open faucet! This bugs me so much, because it just shows how indifferent and ignorant people are about their surroundings. I won't take it so far to the environment - some think it's such a big word (OMG!), it felt impersonal and irrelevant to their lives. So I'm going to tone it down to get to the point.
Little things, like broken faucets and turning off the faucet while you brush your teeth, matters. Quite a lot, in fact.
As someone who cares a lot about the environment, I can never get tired of explaining the whys and hows of people who don't - yet. It's a mission to make people like this, care. It might sound ambitious (well, it is. Kind of), it sounds like I'm trying to convert people, but it really isn't. This isn't religion. This is not personal.
Our daily behaviour affects others around us - and those kilometers away. You might not think so - this is common. I, however, will not explain in great detail how, at least not in this post. I think it deserves a post on its own.
While this post is slowly getting out of control and/or context (the byproduct of not writing for such a long time) and is a little bit too flowery in the choice of words - I'd offer a conclusion:
One: be conscious and cautious of how you use water. Don't take it for granted.
Two: Hey I'm back in the blogworld!

What I think about social networks?

2009-08-30T21:16:00.005+07:00

Every time I was observing a certain crowd, I could always spot Jakartan teenagers and their BlackBerrys, most probably updating their Facebook status. It might not seem like that big of a deal, the impact of being constantly online, but it is. Let's start with the obvious things. If you were constantly connected to people you know, you love, you have been with most of your life, it seemed like a good thing.

But the thing is that I noticed that when I got to know a new person that owns such a gadget, I will find myself trying to make little chit-chats while she is busy chatting with her (don't get me wrong, the "she" is for convenience reason only) friends on some mobile messenger. Both she and I missed the chance to get to know each other by person, and usually it'll come later after she adds me on Facebook. Do we actually consider that it’s cooler to know other human beings via an electronic device?

It seems that social networking sites limits the chance of getting to know different kinds of people. Why? Because we got picky. We saw people from their number of photos and their status and their interests and everything. If don't then you want the number of your friends to increase, but not actually becoming friends? And people competing to outnumber everyone else’s photo count? I just don’t get this. It grew all the way to social jealousy and putting people to boxes.

Beside that, I think this is the most important impact: we became spenders. Big ones. Imagine this: we switch our regular cellular phones for a BB. BBs need cases and accessories and the packaging that it came with. Imagine how many kilograms of CO2 emission we produce in every purchase of an electronic gizmo. We just don’t care. All we ever wanted was to look cool with the latest gadget on hand, just like every other hip teen on the planet. But I wish everyone wants to be a green, real hip teen, and not just online.

You Are (Not) Alone

2009-06-18T18:20:00.003+07:00

So, yesterday I watched Evangelion 1.0 You Are (Not) Alone with my little sister, Ozora, Dito W, Caesar, Rba and Iman in Blitz Megaplex Grand Indonesia. Well, I guess the English part of this entry ends here, because I tend to speak more politely in English.
Well, not. IT WAS HUUUUUUUUUGE FUN! We (except Dito W) gathered at school, and then went to GI with Caesar's car. The trip itself was pretty much... geekishly fun. When we finally arrived at the mall, we figured out we're on the wrong side of it. So we crossed the road to the other part of GI, where Blitz Megaplex is located. After we got our tickets, we decided to get some snacks in Foodhall supermarket, 9 storeys below (Blitz is on storey 8, Foodhall in Lower Ground storey - is my calculation correct?) and to get there fast (the movie starts in 20 minutes) we decided to use the elevator instead of the escalator. But once we get there, I saw a big Burger King sign and decided to buy it instead. So, everyone ordered their burgers, and literally smuggled it into the cinema.

Caesar a.k.a Sergeant Keroro, me, Ozora, my little sister, Iman. Rba is the one taking this picture.

Inside the theatre, we found out that it's only the seven of us watching. So, what did we do? Roll side-down right in front of the screen. Spoiling the movie to each other real loudly(I'l tell you why later). Talk about things that absolutely has no connection with the movie. Yell to the projector operator to pause, rewind, and "Oh please don't let them cut the second movie preview." I think we've pretty much done all the things that is in the list of "What To Do In An Empty Cinema For Dummies". Like those kind of dorky lists exists, anyway.

Now, let's talk about the movie.

SPOILER-ish. Kinda.

Evangelion 1.0 You Are (Not) Alone (yes I know it's a long title, but I really love the title itself so I'll write it fully everytime, please bear) is the first part of the Rebuild of Evangelion project, the gazillionth, well, technically fourth remake of the legendary anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion (Shin Seiki Evangelion in Japanese) ~~(yes it is three separate links, I like to be sourceful)~~. It was launched in Japan in 2007. The first thing I noticed was, if this movie is remade from scratch instead of cutting-and-pasting the old anime's scenes, it's not as clear and bright as I think it should be. Or maybe it's for the good-old-times, antique effect.
The main protagonist, Shinji Ikari, is a teenage boy at about fourteen. He seeks attention from his dad, Gendo Ikari, which is the head of the facility NERV which works him as an Eva pilot. Evas are created to fight Angels, let's say it's some ginormous alien robot trying to destroy the world, but this is a very loose, inaccurate description. Talk about not making old fans mad. The whole thing about why Evas exists is a long story, but a cool one at that. Go check those links I served on a silver platter. Long story short, this boy Shinji has a mental problem, most likely depression. He thinks he's of no use, he thinks he has to be controlling the Eva so people would accept him, but he's afraid and he dislikes the huge burden on his shoulders - saving mankind. The other pilot, Rei Ayanami, is what you would describe as a robot, with a sweet, sugary, cold voice. She's somewhat distant, emotionless, but at times I don't feel so. Now I understand why she is so popular - she's literally a legend of a fictional character (at least in the anime fandom). I also fell in love with her, and totally understands where the craze for Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu's Yuki Nagato came from.
Well, in addition to the quick character introduction, I'll just list this movie's awesomeness:

Super cool, high-tech town called Tokyo III. The buildings can come in and out of the ground for battle and normal modes, pardon me, if you don't think it's cool I don't know what is. I can't describe it good enough, you have to see it yourself. If that happens in real life, I'm going to faint of excitement.
Shinji's mental problem. You want to slap him and tell him "Now's not the time to be a crybaby, you idiot!" and toss him to the battlefield, but at the same time you want to hug him real tight and say things like "I know, I know... It's just, it's just..." and sob by his side. Or it's just me.
The things called Angels = AWESOME.

I won't say that it's an absolute must-watch, but seriously, even if this is an anime, it's worth it. It's not just the mecha (giant robots), it's about a lot of things. Anime is just the media; it's the story that matters. Although, in the next movies, it might get a little bit more and more disturbing.

Bye now.

I am strong

2009-06-16T19:53:00.002+07:00

Read this article.

And I'll admit that I wish instead of 19, there were 20 in the headline. That my name was in it, Paramezwari Atila sugandi akan berangkat ke Jerman (atau Perancis, atau negara lainnya, apa saja). But I am a strong person, I have always convinced myself that I am.

So, to those who are going to depart, I wish you the most sincere good luck, may you have a wonderful year abroad, a nice host family, a year full of rich life experiences. And bring me souvenirs, LOL.

I'll miss you guys, Chapter Jakarta!

the luckiest person on earth

2009-05-18T21:02:00.005+07:00

On Friday, May 15, I got a note from Tiki, the courier service, that they have not delivered something because I was not at home at the moment. I wondered what that was, and got a really, really bad feeling. I was right. Saturday, May 16 2009, I received this letter from Bina Antarbudaya saying that I will not be departing. It didn't say why. I almost immediately sms-ed Sascha and Audrey. At night I logged in on my facebook and tell my AFS/YES friends, and Plurk and Livejournal to tell the others. All of them gave the most supporting comments (this is an understatement), and I am so proud to have gone this far, to have known them, and to proudly say that I am their friend.
I tell myself to think positive, tell myself that I have a duty here, in my beloved country. I have my mom and my sister to take care of. I can go to Sapta Garuda Adhikara's prom. I can still go on EF Homestays and JENESYS and the like. Maybe this year I'll have a boyfriend (LMAO). Maybe I'll be able to graduate with sky-high scores and got to UI and went abroad with a scholarship (many wishes me this, thank you!). The best part is that I still have my AFS/YES friends! Not going abroad does not mean not meeting new people, right?
I told myself that I've made it this far, just barely millimetres apart from jumping on a plane to Europe, or the US. I've made it through so much. I am one of twenty-three amazing people, out of about 800 from the first stage of selection, out of thousands high-school students in Jakarta, in Indonesia. I still am part of all those.
But still, it had to hurt, even a little. I cried browsing through my friend's facebook, seeing his photos in Japan. I imagined myself not going anywhere, when the others got farewell parties, orientations, new friends from all over the world, host families, learn new languages... It's just overwhelming. The feeling that I've come this far, but not far enough. Well, sure there are some who are not departing as well, and I believe they are even stronger than I am.
Anyways, I hope of finding my own adventure, be it be here, or in the other half of the world I longed to see. This year, I'll join homestay programmes, send out contest entries, generally living my life to the fullest. I'm turning 17 this year, this year must rock!
Here's the list of things I want to do:

Go to Japanese-themed festivals with quirky Harajuku costumes
Learn piano notes of songs I always wanted to play
Take an overwhelmingly cool self-portrait for my Skyblitz assignment (lawl)
WRITE what I usually am afraid to talk about
Learn new languages, preferably Italian or Russian
Be happy. Love. Help.
Fight for my favorite cause: Environment.

Also, the biggest thanks to these people who helped me got through this:
Chapter Jakarta: Sascha Cesaria, Audrey Mamangkey, Willy H. Gusti, Okky Oktaviani, Putri "Pepe" Pandora, Gebby Oktapuri, Livia Meilani, Icha Mahardika, Marlina, Annisa Fitria, Sartika, Attika A.A., Arief Budiman.
Chapter Bogor, Karawang, Bandung: Nindy, Suci Lestari, Rizky Rahadianto, Ikhlas Sadimin, Eka Dian, Lisana Alia.
and Special Thanks to Nadhila Nuhanisa, Ozora Kharunia, Rizky Bayuadji and Ecchan.
And also, everyone else that I can't name one by one, be it on Plurk or Livejournal.

I ♥ you guys, because you make me believe I'm the luckiest person on earth - to have friends like you.

Addiction is surely NOT a good thing

2009-04-26T11:07:00.002+07:00

Dengan ini, saya yang bertanda tangan di bawah ini (Paramezwari Atila Sugandi) menyatakan untuk mengurangi jumlah jam per minggu yang dihabiskan di depan komputer, dengan alasan sebagai berikut:

Too much of a good thing can kill, or at least hurt, you.
Post di blog-nya Audrey, yang semakin memperkuat keinginan gue untuk menjaga jarak dari dunia maya.
Too much electricity is consumed.
I feel simply happier without constantly updating my facebook status.

Now that I'm back to my environmentalist self, I plan to cut off my electricity consumption, which I think is huuuuge. I think all I've done as a self-declared environment-friendly person, is not enough. I have to do more. And I expect you, to look yourself in the miror and do the same. :)

tagged!

2009-04-21T12:45:00.002+07:00

Gue di-tag sama Willy, dan hasilnya sangat... aneh.

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 5 friends...
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun! :D

SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
My Treasure - Shimizu Shota
ga nyambung, bodo amat

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Takkan Terganti - Kahitna
HUAHAHAHA GR

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Sobakasu - Judy & Mary
?

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
I Like To Move It - Madagascar OST
LOLL

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Time After Time - Kuraki Mai
Waktu?

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
My Boo - Usher ft. Alicia Keys
apadeh -__-''

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Circle Of Life - Elton John
Hai, apakah kalian teringat Simba saat melihatku?

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton
nan jauh di mato, ya

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Yoru Kuru (Nighttime Coming) - Spirited Away OST
malam!

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Lost - Katy Perry
I don't live in a world of numbers, heheh

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Tentang Diriku - Kahitna
astaga kok GR banget deh

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Country Road (Japanese Version) - Whisper of the Heart ending theme
padahal gue anak kota (?)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Janger - Sky Choir
WOAH! jadi apa, penari bali? anggota paduan suara?

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
again - YUI
lagi apanya deh hauahahaha

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Mononoke Hime - Princess Mononoke Ending Theme
gloomy amat deh -__- gue nikah sama aktivis lingkungan, mungkin ya.

WHAT SONG WILL PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
................

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Inikah Cinta - Denny & Didan
huahahahah berpikir tentang cinta ya. romancheese, boleh.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Digital Love - Daft Punk
LOL gue takut kecanduan internet, which is kinda true *shrugs*

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Journey to The Past - Anastasia OST
ngg, that I became the "girl who travel trough time"? hahaha

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Officially Missing You - Tamia
Right. I need a permission to make it official.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Dancing Queen - Mamma Mia OST
YEAH!

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Through the Rain - Mariah Carey
one word: gloomy.

I tag: ada yang mau? ~~huahaha malas~~ :p

Muvee Day - recommended anime movies

2009-04-05T18:06:00.005+07:00

Sejak pelajaran bahasa Jepang di sekolah gue memutar film Spirited Away alias Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi, anak-anak di sekolah gue jadi penasaran buat nonton film-film produksi Studio Ghibli yang lain (which is good)
Hari ini, gue sendirian di rumah tanpa apapun yang harus dikerjakan, jadi gue memutuskan untuk menjadikan hari ini sebagai Hari Menonton Film. Post ini setengah terisi sama movie review, yang:

Subjektif, karena gue bukanlah seorang movie-goer, apalagi seorang film critic.
Seluruhnya terdiri atas film animasi. (!)

Okay, pertama, di pagi hari gue nonton Anastasia di salah satu saluran TV Kabel. Anyone remembers this wonderful story? Gue pertama kali nonton film ini waktu... SD mungkin, di 21 PIM, dan sampai sekarang gue masih terpesona, haha. Soundtracknya yang keren banget, dan gemerlap kerajaan Rusia membuat film ini abadi (setidaknya buat gue, haha).

Setelah itu, gue melanjutkan DVD Tekkonkinkreet yang gue pinjam dari Gilang:

Tekkonkinkreet Taiyo Matsumoto/Shogakukan, Aniplex, Asmik Ace, Beyond C, Dentsu, Tokyo MX

Film ini keren banget, secara visual. Ceritanya, meskipun lumayan unik, dalam, tapi nggak terlau istimewa. Ceritanya tentang dua anak jalanan, Kuro dan Shiro (Hitam dan Putih), penguasa kota Treasure Town, yang berusaha melawan komplotan mafia pimpinan Rat, yang berada di bawah kekuasaan Snake yang akan membangun taman bermain Kiddie Kastle di kota itu. Konsepnya keren, kedua anak ini, dan beberapa karakter lain (pembunuh bayaran "alien" yang disewa Snake untuk memusnahkan Kuro dan Shiro), punya semacam superpower (tapi bukan superpower juga) yaitu bisa terbang. Atau setidaknya meloncat sangat tinggi sampai dapat disebut terbang. Meskipun formatnya kartun, seperti semua film lain yang gue tonton atas kemauan sendiri, tapi film ini nggak akan dipahami (atau boleh ditonton!) sama anak-anak. Why? Ada beberapa scene yang menakutkan, dan banyak darah dan kekerasan. Temanya yang keras dan cenderung putus asa juga terlalu berat, meskipun endingnya bisa dikategorikan bahagia. Cukup menyentuh di beberapa adegan, dengan cara yang tak biasa.
Tapi tampilan visual film ini sangat, amat memikat. Setting Treasure Town yang fiktif, terdiri atas campuran berbagai sudut Asia: India, Cina, bahkan Indonesia! (mereka menampilkan siluet adegan wayang kulit di salah satu adegan) Kota ini, berbentuk mata bila dilihat dari atas, merupakan cerminan yang agak surealistik, tapi di saat yang sama terasa nyata, wajah dunia ketiga: warna warni tapi suram, ramai tapi dingin. Detail kecil seperti karat, ubin yang retak, goresan di papan permainan, cat tembok yang terkelupas, digarap dengan sangat baik. Character design-nya sangat berbeda dari anime standar: proporsi tubuhnya aneh dengan kaki sangat kurus, mata kecil yang terlihat mati dan apatis, garis-garis tubuh minimalis. Bahkan adegan wanita dengan baju minim (sekali) tidak terlihat seksi, malah absurd! Salut buat art director, pengarang manga aslinya (Taiyo Matsumoto) dan Aniplex.

Film selanjutnya adalah Spirited Away a.k.a. Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi, yang tidak perlu gue jelaskan panjang lebar karena kebanyakan orang gue rasa tahu film ini. It's a household word, "Spirited Away", I think.

Setelah itu, gue menonton film Studio Ghibli favorit gue: Mononoke Hime atau dikenal secara internasional sebagai Princess Mononoke.
Tidak seterkenal Spirited Away, tetapi mendapat pengakuan yang luarbiasa dari dunia internasional. Dibuat tahun 1997 tetapi memiliki pesan lingkungan yang kuat, yang membuat gue sangat mencintai film ini. Bercerita tentang pencarian Ashitaka, seorang pemuda dari suku terasing yang dikutuk oleh Dewa Babi Hutan (belakangan diketahui bernama Nago) yang menjadi Demon (monster, setan) karena kebenciannya terhadap manusia. Ashitaka pergi jauh ke barat, memasuki hutan Shishi-gami alias Dewa Rusa, atau Dewa Hutan. Ia menolong dua orang yang terpisah dari rombongannya karena diserang oleh Dewa Serigala (Moro), kembali ke kampung mereka, yaitu Irontown pimpinan Lady Eboshi. Di sana ia mengetahui alasan Nago membabi buta (pun not intended): Irontown hendak menghabisi hutan Shishi-gami untuk mengambil bahan dasar baja yang tersimpan di bawah tanahnya. Selain itu, Ashitaka bertemu San (alias Princess Mononoke itu sendiri), gadis yang dibesarkan oleh Moro sebagai seorang serigala. Belakangan, muncul Jigo (yang pernah bertemu Ashitaka dalam perjalanannya ke barat, ke hutan Shishi-gami) yang membujuk Lady Eboshi untuk membunuh Shishi-gami. Hal inilah, yang nantinya menghancurkan hutan (karena Shishi-gami marah dan menghendaki kepalanya yang ditembak putus kembali) dan menutup film ini dengan indah.
Sekali lagi bukan film (yang hanya karena bermedia animasi) yang cocok untuk anak-anak, karena ada beberapa adegan berdarah, dan seram. Konfliknya juga tidak hitam-putih baik-jahat a la dongeng sebelum tidur: setiap pihak punya motif, kepentingan, dan pembenarannya sendiri-sendiri. Seperti karya Studio Ghibli yang lain, gambar-gambarnya sangat apik, terutama adegan-adegan yang menampilkan landscape pegunungan yang disinari matahari pagi, terlihat sangat indah dan nyaris nyata. Salah satu film yang sangat gue rekomendasikan.

Ada satu lagi film anime yang akan gue rekomendasikan, meski hari ini tidak gue tonton. Film ini berjudul Paprika, karya dari Satoshi Kon, seorang sutradara yang hebat menurut gue selain Hayao Miyazaki (tapi di genre yang berbeda).
Gue nonton film ini di HBO Signature (wow!), dan rasanya nggak mungkin melupakannya. Bercerita tentang Paprika, alter ego dari seorang dokter psikoanalis yang gue lupa namanya, yang melompat dari satu mimpi ke mimpi lain untuk menyelidiki kasus pencurian device psikoanalisis mereka. Sureal, menakjubkan, penuh warna, membuatmu gila. Also a must-watch, kalo lo suka sesuatu yang mengagetkan, bikin mikir, agak creepy tapi warna-warni.

dan film must-watch bagi siapapun, menggemari anime atau tidak:
Grave of The Fireflies (Hotaru no Haka): dari kisah nyata zaman PDII, dibuat tahun 80-an tapi gambarnya sangat halus, film ini membuatlo bahkan nggak sanggup menangis. Jangan ditonton kalo lagi nggak konsen, karena kesunyian-nya membuat ngantuk dan filmnya jadi nggak berarti. Membuat kita bersyukur hidup di dunia yang damai dan bersimpati dengan anak-anak yang hidup di daerah/masa perang. Kritiknya sangat bagus di dunia internasional.

Personality tests, again

2009-03-29T20:11:00.000+07:00

Introspective

You like your own company; you're a very interesting person. Tracking your own mental processes, knowing what you're thinking and why you do what you do, is important to you. Often, what's going on in your mind is more compelling than what's going on outside.

You are not someone who is constantly looking to be among a group of friends; you never feel bored when you are by yourself.

For the most part, those with a high score on the "introspective" trait enjoy reading, taking long walks, learning new things, and other solitary activities.

Creative

You are good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss.

You do not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.

People with a high score on the "creative" trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.

Competent

You strive to master everything you undertake. You tend to learn quickly and do not shy away from challenges.

You are not a "que sera sera" type of person, nor do you go easy on yourself when attempting to master a new skill or get a job done.

Original

You are constantly coming up with new ideas. For you, the world as it exists is just a jumping-off place; what's going on inside your mind is often more interesting than what's going on outside.

You don't feel that the road to success is to be a realist and stick to the program; you never stop yourself from coming up with new ideas or telling the world what you're thinking about.

Curious

You like to get to the bottom of things. You're not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.

You don't simply take things as they are and move on; you're not content skimming along on the surface; you don't feel you're wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.

Passionate

You are in touch with your emotions, and sometimes you react before you think. The good news: you don't tamp down your feelings. The bad news: you sometimes say or do things that you later wish you could take back.

You do not live your life on an even keel; you do not go for long periods without experiencing some mood swings.

Innovative

You come up with a lot of ideas; if one doesn't work out, there's always another waiting in the wings. You often have interesting solutions to difficult problems. You're practically a one-person brainstorming session.

You are less interested changing the world than in dealing with things as they are. Unlike those who spend all their time trying to solve problems, you prefer to zero in on things that work and stick with them.

Aesthetic

You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it.

You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.

Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.

Astute

You are a quick study. You generally don't need to have things explained to you more than once. When presented with a problem, you will often have an instant understanding of where to look for the solution.

You do not take your sweet time when presented with a new task to complete or problem to solve. You don't avoid assignments that require you to learn new skills.

Intellectual

You are thoughtful, rational, and comfortable in the world of ideas. People find you interesting to talk to. You're the living embodiment of the saying "You learn something new every day."

You do not avoid abstract conversation, experimenting with new ideas, or studying new things. It bores you to stick to the straight and narrow of what you already know.

In general, those with a high score on the "intellectual" trait are employed in such fields as teaching and research, and are enthusiastic about reading, foreign films, and classical music.

I'm afraid to tell you the truth about me.

2009-03-21T09:14:00.001+07:00

Gue percaya, sebagian orang yang kenal gue, terutama di sekolah, akan bilang gue orang yang pendiam. Akhir-akhir ini gue mulai mempertanyakan semuanya: termasuk sikap gue sendiri, ke semua orang.

Gue rasa, gue bukan seorang pendiam. Gue juga merasa, sejak entah kapan, kemampuan gue untuk ‘merasa’ sudah hilang. Gue bertanya-tanya, apakah ada orang yang mencap gue ‘antisocial’ atau ‘terasing’. Semoga tidak. (FYI: gue sempat minum obat tidur dan pergi ke psikiater!)

Hidup gue tidak bermula sebagai anak baik yang pendiam. Gue mulai diam dan mematikan perasaan gue saat di SMP, saat gue merasa tidak didengar, tidak mengerti apa yang orang-orang bicarakan, dan tidak punya kesempatan ‘unjuk bakat’. Gue tidak pernah menjadi orang yang mengikuti perkembangan musik, gue tidak punya TV kabel, dan tidak tertarik pada film dan serial televisi live-action. Saat SD, gue hampir bisa dibilang tidak pernah menonton TV kecuali acara berita. Di SMP, dengan kebebasan yang baru gue dapatkan, gue langsung menyelami hal yang gue sangat sukai, dari dulu sampai hari ini: film animasi. Karena itu, gue dengan cepat bergabung dengan anak-anak pecinta anime dan budaya pop jepang lainnya.

Gue orang yang menyukai kompetisi, peraturan, dan diskusi. Gue kecewa, karena di SMP, saat seseorang mempresentasikan sesuatu, gue nggak bisa menanyakan sesuatu yang mendalam atau rumit, atau kaitannya terselubung. Gue tau orang itu akan menghindar dan bilang “Maaf, tapi presentasi saya tidak mencakup hal itu.” Gue juga kecewa karena guru-guru nggak menghargai banyak makalah yang gue tulis dengan memeras otak, dan malah memuji-muji hasil copy+paste yang sampulnya dibuat indah. Gue mulai merasa hilang, tidak ada, tidak diinginkan. Gue juga kaget melihat anak-anak lain yang sepertinya senang banget bisa ‘melanggar’ peraturan sekolah yang kecil macam seragam, supaya terlihat lebih keren, atau apapun. Buat gue, peraturan adalah sesuatu yang absolut, tidak bisa ditawar-tawar (jujur saja, gue suka ide sekolah militer). Gue juga kaget atas perlakuan rasis (yang amat marak di tempat gue bersekolah). Buat gue, semua orang sama, dan agama bukan masalah, biar sekecil apa pun. Perbedaan juga bukan lelucon: kita semua adalah manusia, kita semua adalah orang Indonesia. Gue juga kaget karena perlakuan perempuan dan laki-laki dibedakan. Dan bahwa perempuannya merasa senang dibedakan, dan malah menuntut untuk dibedakan.

Gue takut untuk bicara. Cara bicara yang gue anggap biasa, ternyata bisa menyakiti hati orang lain. Buat gue, harusnya kata-kata seperti itu ditanggapi dengan biasa saja, tetapi ternyata orang-orang memandang gue sebagai pemilik mulut yang jahat. Sejak itu, gue memilih untuk diam daripada dibicarakan di belakang atau dibenci karena dianggap tidak mempedulikan perasaan orang lain. Itu, dan minimnya kesempatan untuk beropini, membuat gue akhirnya bungkam. Buat gue, nggak ada lagi benar atau salah, gue nggak peduli. Setiap kali gue melihat sesuatu yang bertentangan dengan keyakinan gue, gue akan bilang pada diri gue sendiri: Mereka nggak akan mendengar. Jadi gue menutup mulut dan mata gue, membiarkan diri gue membeku perlahan-lahan.

Gue merasa nggak dianggap di masyarakat. Apakah itu benar? Mungkin memang gue terlalu ingin perhatian, tanpa bisa melakukan apa pun yang bisa membuat gue mendapatkannya. Gue berusaha meyakinkan diri gue: mereka masih mengenal gue. Gue masih dimintai bantuan. Tapi gue selalu bertanya-tanya seberapa besar peran gue? Gue tenggelam dalam kekecewaan pikiran gue sendiri bahwa tanpa gue pun, seluruh dunia akan baik-baik saja.

Gue senang banget waktu tau gue terpilih jadi panitia SkyBattle. Buat sebagian orang, itu sepele, mungkin merepotkan, tapi buat gue itu sangat penting: gue merasa dibutuhkan. Gue ada. Sebagian orang lain, yang sudah pasti jadi panitia atau yang tidak peduli akan berpikir bahwa reaksi gue konyol. Tapi dalam hati, gue bersyukur karena orang-orang masih memerlukan jasa gue, sebagai seorang juru kamera.

Gue akui, gue nggak terlalu akrab dengan sebagian besar cewek di angkatan gue. Gue takut untuk mencoba membaur: gue pikir gue nggak akan ngerti, dan gue takut mereka memandang gue dengan buruk. Jadi gue diam, dan berlaku seperti anak baik yang membosankan.

Orangtua gue, nosy dan overprotektif. Dia merasa harus tahu semua detail, semua hal yang gue lakukan. Buat gue, hal itu sangat membuat tertekan. Dan karena sikapnya itu, gue juga merasa tidak perlu banyak-banyak teman: mereka hanya akan membuat gue repot. Gue tidak bisa pergi jalan-jalan ke suatu tempat secara spontan, tidak bisa minta diantar-jemput, gue tidak boleh ke tempat yang jauh, dan macam-macam, sehingga gue pikir, orang-orang juga tidak akan mau berteman dengan anak rumahan terkucil macam gue.

Gue merasa semakin dilupakan dunia.

Kadang-kadang, gue berpikir mungkin gue selamat di masyarakat karena penampilan gue: dari luar, gue percaya gue tidak terlihat nerdy.

Sampai saat ini, gue masih bertanya-tanya, apa kata orang lain tentang gue. Apakah gue dibutuhkan? Apakah mereka menertawakan gue di belakang karena gue aneh?

Dan hari ini, gue telah menceritakan segalanya kepada kalian, kepada siapa gue berprasangka.

Gue minta maaf, karena mungkin, di sini, gue menilai kalian, gue melupakan kapasitas kalian sebagai manusia. Tapi ketahuilah, bahwa gue menghargai kalian sama rata, dan bahwa semua orang memiliki tempatnya dalam hidup gue. Gue senang bisa berada di sini, di antara kalian semua, meskipun kalian tidak sadar gue ada. Gue juga berharap, gue diterima di antara kalian semua, karena gue bersedia untuk menerima kalian, apa adanya tanpa batas warna kulit dan agama.

Jadi, hari ini, kalian semua punya seorang teman baru:

Hai, nama gue Paramezwari Atila, panggil saja Amez.

Gue suka film animasi dan fotografi nature. Gue ingin menjadi kontributor tulisan dan foto, walau hanya sekali saja, di National Geographic Magazine. Gue tidak punya idola, musisi, atau icon fashion favorit, karena gue percaya mereka juga manusia dan gue tidak akan membiarkan diri gue dikecewakan. Gue sangat menyukai gaya tulisan Pramoedya Ananta Toer dan Khaled Hosseini. Gue percaya akan toleransi dan kemanusiaan. Hal yang tidak gue sukai adalah perlakuan yang tidak manusiawi pada hewan, pemborosan sumber daya, rasisme dan fanatisme agama.

On the lighter side, gue suka makanan Italia, Jepang dan Padang, warna ungu dan toska dan sepatu mary jane. Gue berharap di Jakarta ada tempat seperti Harajuku agar gue bisa bebas memakai baju apa saja yang gue mau tanpa dipandang sebelah mata. Hal yang tidak gue sukai adalah berolahraga, kecuali berenang. Gue suka menulis, memotret, berkhayal dan menyanyi. Gue ingin belajar bahasa Rusia, Sanskerta, dan Latin. Hal-hal yang ingin gue lihat adalah kuil Abu Simbel di Mesir, Aurora borealis, bunga sakura, dan reruntuhan tembok Berlin. Binatang favorit gue kucing, cheetah dan paus. Apa pendapatlo tentang gue?

Sekarang gue lega karena sudah curcol pada seluruh dunia melalui internet. Moving on to the next topic:

I confessed.

Gue pernah suka seseorang, beberapa tahun yang lalu. Tapi kemudian gue melakukan sesuatu yang bodoh, salah, dan kami tak pernah menjadi teman lagi. Dia bahkan tidak mau meng-add gue di Facebook, atau itu adalah suatu hal yang berbeda, karena seperti gue, dia adalah orang yang rumit, penuh rahasia. Tapi setelah kejadian ‘pembisuan’ gue di atas, seperti semua indera gue yang lain, perasaan gue ke dia pudar, tersamar menjadi kebencian palsu. Beberapa minggu yang lalu, yang membuat gue sadar akan semua yang terjadi di sekeliling gue, terjadi sesuatu. Gue membaca sebuah tulisan, hanya empat huruf, tetapi cukup untuk membangkitkan kenangan gue tentang pertemanan singkat kami. Sepotong ingatan melintas deras, seperti film lama yang dipercepat, membangkitkan syaraf-syaraf gue yang sudah lama tidur. (FYI: gue bukan zombie, jangan salah paham, maksudnya syaraf-syarafnya tidur adalah: apa yang gue rasakan tidak gue ingat, terasa tidak berarti)

Rush of memories, adalah perasaan yang paling aneh, seperti deja vu, tapi menyakitkan, meskipun manis.

Setelah gue mendapatkan ‘kehidupan’ gue kembali, gue melihat sekeliling dan menyadari kalau dia masih ada, begitu juga dengan perasaan gue. Jadi, setelah banyak curcol kepada seseorang yang sudah gue anggap seperti saudara gue sendiri, I considered confessing to him. (Yeah, it’s a him, I’m straight. Duh.)

Dan gue seperti mendapat “petunjuk”, nggak hanya soal itu, tapi juga soal siapa diri gue sebenarnya. Gue menonton film yang kata-katanya seperti menembus kesadaran gue, melihat spanduk, brosur, dan acara TV yang membuat gue berpikir, membaca majalah yang anehnya seakan membahas isu tertentu tepat saat gue membutuhkannya. Gue percaya akan keajaiban :)

Jadi, sesuai dengan “wahyu” yang gue dapat, gue menulis surat; karena gue tau gue nggak akan sanggup bicara langsung, dan gue lebih memilih menyerahkan nasib gue pada kertas dan pena dibanding lidah dan bibir gue. Yang paling aneh, setelah menulis surat itu, gue merasa amat sangat lega. Seperti melepas korset setelah sehari penuh memakainya (pernah pakai? Biasanya kalau pakai kebaya ;p)

Masalah kedua adalah menyerahkannya. Sebelum SkyBattle, saat SkyBattle, dan akhirnya, saat UTS berlangsung. Proses yang mendebarkan, penuh keraguan, tapi secara keseluruhan membuat korset kedua lepas. (Get the metaphor? Meskipun gue ragu ada orang aneh yang pakai dua korset, tapi yaaah)

His reaction wasn’t as violent as I imagined/predicted it would be.

Dan hari setelah gue menyerahkannya adalah hari paling indah yang bisa gue ingat sepanjang ingatan gue yang fotografik seperti kamera pocket Fujifilm abal seharga 99.000 rupiah saja. Matahari bersinar terik, terlalu terik, tapi buat gue, terasa hangat menyenangkan seperti roti panggang. Semua caleg kelihatan bisa dipercaya dan tidak korup (biasanya gue berpikir sebaliknya). Masakan pembantu gue yang biasanya tidak enak, terasa normal di lidah gue (normal saja, tidak sekejap menjadi lezat, maaf ya mbak). Saking senangnya, gue jadi malas belajar fisika, dan sayangnya rasa senang tidak membuat fisika jadi mudah. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Pertanyaannya adalah: apa dia membacanya? Apa pendapatnya tentang semua yang gue tulis?

Tapi semua itu tidak ada artinya, gue hanya menunggu apakah dia akan bereaksi, dan menyerahkan semuanya di tangan Yang Kuasa. Tapi gue harap dia membacanya, dan bersedia memberitahukan gue apa pendapatnya.

Isi suratnya? ~~Like I’m going to tell you~~ ;p Tentu saja bukan katalog Kredit BCA, bukan pula permohonan untuk dicoblos tanggal sekian (ada lho, caleg yang mengirim surat!), dan bukan juga nomor telepon Badut Sulap Balon/Sedot WC.

Siapa orangnya? Dia orang Indonesia, berjenis kelamin laki-laki, tinggal di Jakarta, hafal Pancasila, suka membaca, tidak bisa bermain biola, tidak dapat dikategorikan sebagai pendek, dan salah satu dari orangtuanya memakai jilbab (entah ibu atau bapaknya, silakan anda tebak).

Have fun guessing then, wish me luck ;3 Well, doakan surat gue dibalas, atau apalah.

Oooh. Gue lupa cerita ~~(dan post ini pun semakin lama semakin panjang):~~ AFS. Gue belum dapat kabar, tolooong! Doain gue dapat host family ya! Di Jerman, atau Perancis, atau Amerika, atau di mana saja yang ada ;)

Comment please! Speak up, jangan biarkan gue berpikir lo nggak peduli.

Gue cinta dunia dan seisinya, termasuk kalian! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *tertawa puas* ~~Slogan majalah yang bagus, ya.~~

setelah banyak berpikir

2009-03-05T20:19:00.002+07:00

Gue barusan melihat-lihat blognya Dede, dan menemukan link ini: sebuah kuis kepribadian, dan kemudian gue coba-coba dengan isengnya.

Hasilnya adalah:

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Explain this.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Menurutlo, apakah itu cocok dengan gue? Jujur aja, gue ngerasa iya. Gue sangat suka menyembunyikan sesuatu. Sampe-sampe gue sendiri bingung gue itu sebenernya kayak apa. Maybe I think of myself too much, I got lost in my own thoughts! Aneh.

Komputernya mau dipake nih. Hahaha, dadaah :D

Darurat

2009-02-24T18:03:00.002+07:00

I. Need. A. Life.
desperately.

Why? Karena.... bosan. Dan kayaknya semua orang lain kalo nulis di blog, ada sesuatu yang dia lakukan. Gue stuck di kehidupan sehari-hari yang gitu-gitu aja. Cuma pikiran yang terbang melayang entah kemana.
Jadi, any ideas? Mungkin gue harus les. Atau emang sebenernya guenya aja merasa kurang kerjaan. Anyways, kasih gue ide. Tapi gue udah punya list sih sebenernya:

Baca buku dong neng. Susah amat.
Minta les Bahasa Latin/Jerman/Rusia/whatever.
Urusin Deviantart. Sampe pol.
Learn something new. Tapi apaaa?
Spend time with your camera. Ngapain foto-foto di rumah?
Main game. Sesuatu yang malas gue lakukan karena nggak bakat (ada lho, orang yang ga bakat main game!). Padahal di rumah ada PSP, Wii dan NinDS. Wow. Gue aja gak percaya.
Do charity work! Pengen sih. Tapi yaa, belum bisa deh kayaknya.

So? Kedengaran menarik gak? Dan omong-omong, blog ini mending diisi pake Bahasa Indonesia (tadi mau tulis India -___-) atau English? Atau campur-campur aja deh, gimana dong. Gue merasa bersalah sama kemampuan Bahasa Inggris gue yang mengendap di kedalaman otak gue yang butek.

bye then.

film india, foto, random

2009-02-23T20:54:00.005+07:00

Well, secara umum gue bisa bilang kalau hari ini cukup menyenangkan. Gak ada guru di... hmm... empat jam pelajaran. Lumayan. Selain itu, semuanya berjalan biasa-biasa saja. Boring. Hari-hari kayak gini nih yang bikin imajinasi liar gue yang berlebihan berlari-lari girang.
Misalnya, coba kehidupan sekolah gue adalah sebuah film India. Atau lebih girangnya lagi, High School Musical: Living Bollywood. Judulnya oke gak tuh? Gue sih merasa yakin kalo film dengan judul kayak gitu bakal seru. Rofl.
By the way, kenapa dari kemaren, atau baru-baru ini aja, gue jadi suka ngomong film india? Kemungkinan besar karena hasrat tak kesampaian untuk nonton Slumdog Millionaire. Dan pada dasarnya gue emang suka ngeliat film musikal, hahaha. India = musikal toh? Dan gue terganggu banget waktu di buku 5 Cm, ada perkataan "... tapi bukan film india, soalnya kita percaya semua hal ada jalan keluarnya, tapi bukan joget" (kira-kira kayak gitu). Ke-Indiaan gue tersinggung. Padahal gue bukan orang India. Makanya gue gak bisa menari dan berjoget. Makanya gue suka film India. Mwahaha.

Oh ya gue mau berbagi foto:

Kostum padus :D Cantik kaaaan. Thanks to Fira buat desain+penjaitnya yang kilat abis. Glamorous abis kan rasa-rasanya pengen gue kirim ke hai en tin gitu (gue bahkan ga pernah baca, abis kedengerannya sombong, lagipula gue middle end abis kali). Sengaja gue crop karena tampang gue lagi autis banget waktu ambil nih foto.

Kebaca gak? Es Kepala Muda... Benar-benar restoran yang sadis yaa (mereka jual sapi guling! gila gak menurutlo?). Gue nemu ini di sebuah restoran kambing dan seafood beken di daerah bintaro, ternyata famous people (restaurant) make mistakes juga nyahaha.

Dan btw, SkyBattle sudah dekat, saudara-saudara! Ada banner yang bisa gue pajang gak ya? Gue excited banget karena kepilih jadi panitia (sie. Dokumentasi, apa lagi coba?), abis gue merasa diri tidak eksis dan karenanya tidak bakalan terpilih wehehe, tetapi Alhamdulillah! Yay! Gue panitia! Dapet kaos lagi! (ga penting)

Ooh ya. Another random thing: gue seneng banget ketemu sama yang namanya Ichi alias pemilik Mamam Tuh Mamam. Kenapa? Karena... rasanya kayak ketemu orang yang satu ideologi! Wow! Setelah sekian lama gue pikir ga ada orang random bin ajaib macem gue (GR) ternyata.... ada! Rasanya mungkin kayak waktu Hitler menemukan Mussolini? (ngawur) Yaa pokoknya gitu lah. Jadi gue bisa ber-random ria tanpa perlu khawatir, yeeeeeeeeeysh.

Bai de wai untuk yang ke sekian kali; pengen nonton Valkyrie.... padahal gue udah baca reviewnya di Tempo dan katanya (kocak berlebihnya) ceritanya pasukan Jerman tapi aktor-aktornya pake logat campur-campur ada yang Inggris ada yang Amrik. Ckck. Sungguh menarik, teman. Mungkin kalau film G30S/PKI logatnya ada yang Madura ada yang Batak dan ada yang Chincha Lawra pasti film tersebut akan menjadi teramat mengasyikkan. Kita dub yuk (strikeout plz). Tapi ga tau mau nonton sama siapa... maunya sama.... nyaahhh ngimpi aja, males gue ngajaknya jutek kayak gitu. Chuuih.

Situasi gue saat ini adalah sedang defisit anime. Pengen nonton Code Geass, Gundam 00, ga pernah kesampaian. Haruhi season 2 nggak muncul-muncul. Darker than Black di Animax di dub Inggris, males. Hhh. Nonton di youtube, capek. Halah lama-lama gue cuma ngaku-ngakunya aja suka padahal udah ketinggalan, hiks hiks... Kok malah ngomongin anime ya? Ah ga tau ah, gue merasa tinggal gue yang suka anime, soalnya seiring dengan pertumbuhan, para eks-fans anime telah menjadi fans Johnny's Entertainment dan dorama. Which is, gue gak minat. Gue suka animasi. Dan no, gue bukan orang freak. Don't judge people that way laaah. Me like anime, you like Jonas Brothers boleh laaah. Duh, keluar deh Singlish gue yang kacau itu. Hhh, ya sudahlah, random things and thoughts hari ini kayaknya udah cukup. Lega deh. Haha. Baiii (insert random goodbye emoticon here)

kenapa blogger?

2009-02-22T08:16:00.001+07:00

Kok entry-nya kosong semua sih?

song of the week; kemalasan; cokelat

2009-02-21T09:21:00.004+07:00

Tanpa terasa udah lamaaa banget ya gue nggak update-update. Sampe diingetin sama orang-orang. Wow.

Masalahnya adalah, karena udah lama ga update, jadi hal-hal yang pengen gue tulis malah... terlupakan! Haduh gawat banget sih gue. Tapi masih ada recent stupidities yang gue inget, misalnya percakapan dengan Yoga di MSN.
Jadi, saat itu adalah malam Jumat yang tenang dan damai, gue lagi asik-asiknya baca Nodame Cantabile di Onemanga (yang btw adalah serial yang keren banget), sambil sekali-sekali mengecek WLM gue, apakah a certain someone lagi online apa nggak. Terus tiba-tiba gue disapa sama seorang Yoga, yang adalah buat gue di kelas adalah orang suci nomor dua (setelah Bian) karena kerajinannya dan dedikasinya pada pendidikan (lebay).

Chat ini gak sepenuhnya real, cuma kira-kira aja soalnya chat logsnya ada di PC gue dan gue lagi ngetik pake laptop.
Yoga: Mez, udah belajar?
Gue, dengan cuek: Belajar ngapain?
Yoga: Besok kan remed matik.
Gue dengan tampang 0_O: Ngapain belajar
Gue: Kan ada di ingatan gue.
Terus gue balik ke onemanga lagi.

HAHAHA gue songong berlebih! Terus akhirnya besok paginya gue belajar sih, ngeliat catetan orang (Ozora) dan penjelasannya Pak Nasuki. Terus pas remed gue... ngarang.

Terus, berhubung otak gue udah kacau balau dan tidak tersusun berdasarkan kronologi waktu, pada tanggal 13 Februari malam gue dapet kue cokelat dari the one and only Bara Pattiradjawane sendiri (yang masak kue-kue di transtipi itu). Gimana caranya? Karena ternyata dia adalah temennya nyokap gue. Oh. Kuenya kayak gini:

Rasanya enak lho. Tapi maniiiisssss bgt sampe rasanya gue butuh suntikan insulin. Gawat. Dan dua yang di belakang itu, tulisannya "Love is Cinta" sama "I Cinta You". Lawaknya maksimal deh.

Terus kemarin Skyblitz main-main dengan Kamar Gelap (yang membuat orang-orang yang tidak sadar fotografi mengernyit). Kita bikin test strip: kertas foto yang warnanya dari item, berangsur-angsur jadi putih. Punya gue, bisa dibilang lumayan bagus. Eksposurnya sama waktunya, tapi sayangnya... ada sidik jari gue yang teramat banyak. Jadi kayak foto setan. Haha ga deng. Tapi sumpah, waktu di kamar gelap, dengan penerangan warna merah gitu, gue ngerasa deg-degan dan sangat.... nervous. Takut. Penasaran. Pokoknya aura-aura misteri gitu deh. Rasanya kayak jadi detektif, atau malah psikopat yang hobinya memotret korbannya gitu. Gue betul-betul keracunan hollywood. Atau emang imajinasinya aja sih yang berbahaya.

Btw, post ini ternyata pendek ya.

Minggu lalu (tuh kan, nggak kronologis) gue ikut lomba padus di Al-Azhar BSD, dan guess what, Sky Choir juara 2! Seneng banget deh gue. Haha, tapi pas pertama dateng, gue langsung ngerasa kalo kita, Sky Choir adalah yang costume-wise, paling oke. Kenapa? Kita pake dress selutut hitam yang ada pita marunnya, yang cowok-cowok pake kemeja sama celana hitam + dasi marun. Pokoknya wow, kayak paduan suara keren yang ada di layar kaca. Yang mengejutkan gue adalah, semua paduan suara lain ada warna marunnya! Rompi marun, dasi marun, dan ada juga long dress dengan belt marun! Hhhh. Kenapa harus marun semua sih? Btw, gue mau masukin foto gue dengan dress-nya yang oke itu, tapi setelah diliat-liat, gue keliatan gendut banget di foto itu, jadi ga jadi ah.

Terus, waktu pagi-pagi kita ngumpul di rumah Manda sebelum ke Albesd, setelah latihan vokal, Faris mulai mainin gitar dan semuanya bareng-bareng nyanyiin How Deep Is Your Love-nya The Bee Gees. Jadilah lagu itu gue nyanyiin semingguan, gue play berkali-kali di iPod dan gue senandungkan (nyanyi sama senandung tuh beda, kalo buat gue). Terus pas hari Jumat, saat gue menemani Reba ke Dapur Coklat buat beli kudapan, begitu buka pintu, langsung lagu itu menguar dari speaker. Gue langsung "waahhh"; emang song of the week banget deh lagu itu.

Random thing of the week gue adalah: Gue pengen main film musikal, atau iklan sampo. LOL.

Btw, kok gue kedengeran kayak anak snobby nyebelin sok gaul ya, nyampur-nyampur Bahasa Indonesia sama Inggris? Hhhhh. Tau ah.

Akh. Waktu semakin menipis; gue mesti pergi ke dokter gigi. Bye dulu yah. Baaaaaaaiiiiii.

sehari-hari

2009-01-24T11:49:00.003+07:00

Udah lama juga ngga update blog... Banyak banget yang udah terjadi selama berminggu-minggu ini, haha.
Oke, yang pertama, gw nggak lulus YES. Yaaah namanya ada seleksinya, nggak mungkin semuanya lulus kaaan? Dan ternyata nggak cuma gw aja, banyak kok yang sama-sama nggak lulus, hehe. Gw cuma ngareeeepp banget biar jadi berangkat AFSnya. Jepang, Eropa, Amerika! Fuuuh. Lega-lega penuh harapan gitu perasaan gw. Aneh.

Terus, kemarin sekitar semingguan selama HOTT gw sebelll banget sama yang namanya (eh sebut ngga ya?) Ozora. Kenapa? Tanya kenapa. Haha, nggak, jadi gw ngerasa dia tuh gimanaaa gitu. Gimana gitunya yaa, bikin gw bete aja gara-gara dia lagi suka sama seseorang... terus yaa jadi childsih dll daaaan meninggalkan gw sendirian selama hunting on the trip demi bercengkrama dengan objek perasannya. Hewh. Tapi sekarang masalahnya udah clear, tinggal liat aja dia berubahnya kayak gimana :) Lega bangeeet gw, abis rasanya aneh alienating temen sendiri, dan dianya cuma bingung aja... Well, mungkin bagus juga kan, soalnya gw ngerasa, setelah sekian lama gw nggak pernah, nggak pernah sedikitpun merasa terganggu sama sesuatu sampe rasanya gw udah nggak "manusia" lagi... (btw, percaya gak, kalo misalnya tingkat emosional cewek itu misalnya 78%, terus cowok itu 67%, tapi kalo GW, cuma sekitar 38-an%. Meninggal gak tuh? Gw harus coba casting di film psikopat)

Teruus, gw kepilih jadi panitia SkyBattle! Seksi dokumentasi (iyalah, apa lagi)! YAY! hahaha, bukannya gimana-gimana, gw juga tau itu bakal CAPEK bgt, tapii (jangan mencibir) hey, setelah lama gw berpikir bahwa gw orang buangan, ternyata ada juga yang inget sama gw! Betulan lho. Yaah, orang-orang yang nggak ambisius atau ngeliat gw sebagai "Ih apaan sih pengen eksis bgt norak" itu kan udah punya kedudukan yang secure di masyarakat. Maaf deh. Tapi asal gw ngga kelewat batas kan boleh? Lagipula gw emang punya tenaga buat disumbangin, dan ga punya kegiatan yang penting di luar sekolah, ya kan? DAN alasan lainnya adalah gw bakal pergi pas tahun ajaran baru nanti, jadi kemungkinan besar gw ngga mungkin jadi panitia SkyAvenue. Ga salah kan kalo gw berusaha buat bikin kenangan sebelum gw berangkat? So, please, jangan asal ngejudge. Biasanya sih yaaa, orang yang paling sinis "Ih sok pengen eksis" itu yang paling memendam keinginan hahahaha. No offence lho. Tapi ya, berkacalah, teman :) Jujurlah pada dirimu. orz

Hmm apalagi yaa yang bisa gw ceritain... oh ya, ade gw si penggila visual kei yang seperti ninja (beneran! lo kira dia fiktif?!) itu pergi Bimensi selama seminggu. Sepi deh. Tapi bagusnya komputer gw tidak dikotori history yang aneh-aneh (brrr!) huahahaha! Hari ini dia pulang XD hahaha pasti langsung ngecek akun-akun onlinenya deh, ckckck.
Gw juga pilek yang teramat menyedihkan selama seminggu. Sejak menjejakkan kaki di Bandung, penyakit terkutuk ini terus menghantui gw. Nyebelin. Sampe di kelas terus menerus berbuny srot...srot menjijikkan ckckck gawaatt. Mana nyokap ngancem, "Kalo nggak sembuh ngga usah ke Jogja!" Lha, terus 2 jutanya?!?! Haha, tapi udah nggak terlalu parah sih... Insya allah bisa laaah ke Jogja! Amin! *excited mode on*

Omong-omong Jogja trip, kaosnya keliatan abal. Kayak kaos turis murah yang ujung2nya dipake buat tidur. Rawr.

Hmm btw, ngomongin buku yuk? Setelah nonton filmnya Twilight, gw pun lantas memutuskan untuk baca bukunya, dan meminjamnya dari Ozora. Lalu, entah penerjemahnya dodol atau emang teks aslinya terlalu gombal, atau otak gw yang sinis dan crack-y gara-gara keseringan bermain di dunia fandom anime, Twilight membuat gw TERTAWA. Terbahak-bahak. Serius. Dugaan gw yang paling kuat sih, penerjemahnya emang dodol dan teks aslinya gombal. Tapi lucu! Emang ada lucu yang intentional, lucu ala Harry Potter yang keren gitu. Kena bgt candaannya. Meskipun bagian yang mestinya gak ada lucu-lucunya gw ketawa juga. Menurut orang-orang, itu artinya GW yang salah, tapi gw akan berdiri tegak dengan keputusan bahwa bukunya memang lucu. Har!

Apakah blog tidak memiliki underline?! Karena saya tidak mengerti XML barang sedikitpun, lagipula apa yang salah dengan HTML yang biasa?!

Masih tentang buku. Buku itu mahal. Amat sangat mahal. Saya merasa teramat miskin ketika kemarin berdiri di lorong novel Gramedia, memandangi label harga. Banyak bgt buku yang pengen gw baca (dan dengan sendirinya beli), dari Eclipse, Maryamah Karpov, Inkheart, Maximum Ride... tapi semuanya begitu menguras kocek. zzzz. Akhirnya, gw beli komik yang banyak untuk memuaskan rasa dahaga atas budaya pop jepang. orz

Kayaknya post ini udah cukup panjang deh, lol. Udah ya, daaah fufufufu~

mempercantik blog

2009-01-11T10:23:00.003+07:00

Kemaren, pas lagi bikin banner buat blog ini, udah 9/10 jalan alias tinggal nge-save as, PLIK! Kabel laptop gw kecabut. Niiiiiiice. Gahh, bikin lagi deh. Terus, sekarang gw lagi ngeliat-liat Cbox atau yaaa kotak2 yang buat chatting di blog itu loh. Pusing deh (padahal sederhana gitu).

Hahaha, setelah ngeliat2 blogskins.com, gw memutuskan untuk menganalisis bagian-bagian dari kode CSSnya dan berusaha bikin sendiri. Ga tau sih nanti jadinya kayak apa. Ssssh.

Oke. Sekarang ngerandom. Setelah setengah jalan baca A Thousand Splendid Suns, gw tiba-tiba kebayang kalo di negara ini, pecah perang. Lalu gw menyusun skenario. Hari Jumat yang tenang, anak-anak skyblitz lagi pada ngumpul. Biasa, nge-random, nguprek-nguprek kamera, ngalor-ngidul ga keruan. Terus, BAM! Ada bom. Terus semuanya mati. Hahahaha. Apaan tuh.

Skenario 2. Kita nyiapin semua batere, film, SD/MMC, dan pergi dengan gagah berani meliput korban. Terus dipost dengan modem portabel dan laptop seseorang. Situasi makin parah. Akhirnya kita menjarah Circle K, buat berbungkus-bungkus makanan. Tinggal terpencil di antara reruntuhan. Satu-persatu, mati karena bom.

Pikiran yang mengerikan, ya.

Ookay, kayaknya imajinasi gawat gw cukup segitu aja. Kita ngomongin hal-hal yang lebih menyenangkan :)

Kemarin, (atau kemarinnya lagi) gw ngeliat di MTV - yang sekarang penuh dengan boyband/girlband korea china dan jepang (alias Johnny's atau Hello!Project) - ada sebuah boyband, hiphop, korea, bernama Big Bang. Hahaha. Dan sumpah menurut gw lagu mereka seru bgt! Gw ngeliatin videonya dengan melongo gitu. Jadi, di video itu ceritanya ada cowok yang (kayaknya) nggak bisa ngelupain mantannya. Hipotesa lain, cowok itu STALKER. Terus, ada cewek yang di-abuse gitu sama suami/pacarnya. Dia belanja di supermarket, terus clubbing dengan muka lesu. Pas dia pulang, ada gambar khas TKP gitu. Terus dia inget, kalo waktu suaminya mukulin dia, dia lagi pegang pot. Terus dia pukul suaminya pake pot. DUK DUK DUK. Tiga kali. Terus suaminya goodbye life. (apa sih bahasa gw, sok lucu) Dia panik. Terus TIBA-TIBA AJA, dateng si cowok stalker/mantan ini. Dia nyuruh si cewek lari, terus cewek itu pun lari, dan darah si suami (sori kalo serem) dia taro di bajunya, biar kesannya dia yang ngebunuh. Terus dia masuk penjara. KOK POLISINYA BEGO AMAT SIH?
Yaaa gitulah, intinya cowok itu suka sama cewek korban abuse sampai-sampai rela dipenjara. Woow.

Ga tau mesti terharu atau marah sama kinerja polisi korea.

layout rant

2009-01-04T22:01:00.000+07:00

finally.
the layout works!!!!!
hahaha. dan ya, emang kata-katanya sangat What A Wonderful World, habis ga tau sih mau pake lagu apalagi... tapi kayaknya kok salah layout ya? nanti kalo mau masukin foto gimana? hhhh.

sehari ngepost 2 entri, mentang-mentang baru buat. hehehe :D

geez. ngantuk. tidur dulu ya, besok sekolah soalnya....

first post

2009-01-04T20:13:00.000+07:00

akhirnya bikin blog juga :D
hahahaha payah deh, telat banget ya... abis livejournal isinya fandom-related things semua, hehehe... dan btw karena ini first post yang bertepatan dengan hari terakhir liburan gw mau ngoceh:
besok masuk jam setengahtujuh pagi. oke. menurutlo? sialan foke. ouch. ga ada strikeout ya?
sori gak ada huruf kapital. lagi malessss pengen ngerant ;p hehehe
tadinya gw mau ngasih judul blognya nazo nazo mitai ni (wahaha!) tapi kok gimanaaa gitu ya. apa nanti gw ganti aja. fufu~
btw dA gw udah 8500 pageviews (ga relevan) tapi gw senaaaaaaang XD (aduh kenapa sih tempat2 kaya gini ga ada emoticonnya kayak dA)

goodbye halcyon days. berasa orihime gw. gahhh nanti blog ini juga bercampur dengan random fandom things dong. abis gimana yaaa gw ini kan otaku (digeplak).

hhhhhh. mau cari layout yang lucu2 dulu ah! btw nanti2nya gw mau jadiin blog ini rada2 photoblog gitu dech. hahaha! ambisius betul! sama diselipin lelucon random crack-ish yang ga wajar gitu (kayak gw)

bahasanya jelek bgt yah. -___-
bye then!